The mediator must remain strictly impartial in every sense. After the initial assessment meeting, the mediator will not communicate separately with either of you, unless you have both agreed that this is acceptable, for example if there are to be separate sessions within the mediation. The mediator must not have a personal interest in the outcome of mediation, and cannot mediate in a case if she has acquired any relevant information before the mediation starts.
The mediator must also remain neutral, and may not favour either of you over the other. The mediator cannot advise either of you what would be ‘best’, although she may, if both of you want to know what she thinks, suggest that there is a possibility that the solution being proposed is outside the parameters that a court might approve or order.
The mediator is not there to tell you what the ‘right’ solution is; she can provide information about possible solutions, and explore with you the implications of those solutions, but must be very careful not to give advice or to make recommendations, because you are the people who must make the decisions.
The mediator will be keen to maintain the focus on what is good for the children, and will also ask both of you to work towards a fair solution, testing suggestions to find out if they are practical, but while doing this, she should make sure that both your views, aims, needs and concerns are given equal weight.